"What can people do right now, within a game theoretic world, to start to create spaces of truthfulness? Start to create relationships where one of the highest values is truthfulness, with other people who are capable of, and want, and are committed to that. Where people are not only not lying to each other, but they are endeavoring to not withhold information, which is tremendous intimacy, and tremendous vulnerability. And see if you can create enough psychological safety with some people to start exploring what does it mean to actually share information honestly so we can have that, all make sense together." --Daniel Schmachtenberger in War on Sensemaking by Rebel Wisdom
[Jamie Wheal, asked about how to create communities of trust] Provided we can trust each other enough to actually stay true to the code. And so that’s where I honestly think—and I don’t know how we do this—but what I would recommend, like an anthropologist would be like, what you need is a code of ethics…that everybody is like blood oath swear we’re committed to no matter. And then I can relax. If I know we’ve all signed up to live by the same code, and we have to develop trust by doing this, and if I’m out of line, out of integrity, I will acknowledge it and I will make reparations to the community. Not what is happening a whole bunch right now which is…“and that’s not my truth, I understand what you’re saying” multi-perspectival…because people just get burned out and tired quickly of engaging that tar baby in quick sand, and then we’re like “this is not resolved, but I don’t trust you anymore.” And so we end up fragmenting again into increasingly smaller circles. So how do we lean into this and commit to playing well? It’s like a dojo: you bow onto the mat and you bow off. You don’t storm off; you don’t sulk off. And there are rules on how we engage…no cheap shots…we fully commit to playing, learning, and training together, but there is a structure that supersedes how I feel that day, or when I get triggered…what’s a range of permissible response. (56:44)
Wheal, J. (2019). Sense-making in chaos [Podcast]. Future Thinkers, Ep. 100.
When we also identify as fundamentally interconnected parts of an interconnected universe, rather than separate things, we stop thinking that there is any definition of success for self that isn’t a definition of success for the whole. We also stop thinking that the idea of advantaging ourselves at the expense of something else we’re inexorably interconnected to makes sense at all. We are all agents for an interconnected whole, where our sense of self is actually an emergent property of the intersection of this system with the rest of universe....So competition is an obsolete concept. (para. 21, 23)
Schmactenberger, D. (2019). What is emergence and why does it matter? Inside Out. https://perspectivainsideout.com/2019/09/03/a-universe-moving-in-the-direction-of-greater-depths-and-breadths-of-consciousness/
Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may have noticed, they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness. (p. 101, Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now)
Schmachtenberger brings up the important question of how to create systems that work in non-rivalrous contexts. He says he doesn’t have the answer. He says it will emerge from collective sensemaking. Consider this as part of the answer: One multiple-award-winning program , implemented throughout schools in Costa Rica, uses a “connection practice” to get past conflict, especially to curb bullying (Johnson, 2017). It is a practice of mediation that uses the Heart Math Institute’s scientifically validated “heart coherence” techniques to promote creative problem solving. It uses the empathy and compassion of non-violent communication to help access intuitive insight and wisdom. It “speeds up the evolution of consciousness” (24:38). Before you dismiss it based on a distaste for ideas outside the approved range of topics currently admissible for “serious” academic inquiry, give it a fair reading by looking at what independent scholars have corroborated.
Johnson, R. M. (2017). From confusion to connection, and from conflict to mutually met needs [Podcast]. Retrieved from https://restorativejusticeontherise.org/rita-marie-johnson-from-confusion-to-connection-and-from-conflict-to-mutually-met-needs/
Rita Marie Johnson: From Confusion to Connection, and from Conflict to Mutually Met Needs. from Restorative Justice On The Rise in Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/restorative-justice-on-the-rise/id918262205?i=1000424822288
Dan Munro: Radical Honesty as The Path to Bulletproof Confidence (HEx #18). from The HighExistence Podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-highexistence-podcast/id947440206?i=1000431319372